Mateo Jabronius Karnilingus
Lord of the Cock Rings

The man, the myth, the slut-dragon

Mateo Jabronius Karnilingus was hatched on the twentieth day of April in the year of our lord, 1969. It was a dark and stormy morning on the dawn of that day; Mercury was in full gatorade and the earth was as flat as it has ever been. Though the clouds were already relentlessly shutting out the sun more tightly than a juvenile sea otter giving birth to a Kubota B2630 Tractor With 53in LA403 Loader and 60in Land Pride BB2560 Gannon Box, when Mateo spawned it somehow got even darker.

photo of douche
Here he is on the right staring at a bag of Classic Russet potatoes, alongside two very innocent bystanders.

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse...

Additional horrifying bio blah blah