The man, the myth, the slut-dragon

Mateo Jabronius Karnilingus was hatched on the twentieth day of April in the year of our lord, 1969. It was a dark and stormy morning on the dawn of that day; Mercury was in full gatorade and the earth was as flat as it has ever been. Though the clouds were already relentlessly shutting out the sun more tightly than a juvenile sea otter giving birth to a Kubota B2630 Tractor With 53in LA403 Loader and 60in Land Pride BB2560 Gannon Box, when Mateo spawned it somehow got even darker.

Here he is on the right staring at a bag of Classic Russet potatoes, alongside two very innocent bystanders.

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse...

Additional horrifying bio blah blah